hey gay ppl im trying to discipline myself into improving my art more so i opened up commissions :) (also my laptop died and i need to get that mf repaired) if you know anyone who would b interested sharing my commission link would be VERY cool and sexy of u to do and also ill give u a big kiss on the mouth
hello again gay people i managed to fix up my laptop myself, but im gonna keep my commissions open for the discipline!
Wait wait you can't just drop that off and not elaborate. What do you mean is there a mafia presence in Wales?? Please spill, what things did you notice??
Okay so bearing in mind that I have ADHD and Chronic Terrible Observational Skills:
- I am in Cardiff
- For a concert I am attending solo
- Doors open at 5
- 4:15 ish I go ‘hmm I should eat something’
- Cardiff is - unsurprisingly, being tiny and yet home to FOUR concert venues - Very Busy
- Find McDonald’s
- McDonald’s is very full. I recall my last concert related McDick’s experience, and promptly bounce
- Directly across the street
- Is an Italian restaurant
- It looks closed but fuckit maybe I can beg for like. Bread or some shit
- Go over
- Am immediately pounced upon by the hitherto unnoticed chain-smoking woman hanging out by the door mostly hidden by a potted ficus(?)
- “I was wondering if you were open and if-” “yes yes we are open what would you like?” (strongish Italian accent)
- Inside restaurant is Deserted
- Explain that I’m sort of in a rush, am assured it’s fine
- Order chicken milanese which is generally a pasta dish with a breaded chicken component
- Am led to seat nearish the front and promptly provided with a pint of coke in a glass tankard
- Am then provided with a front row seat to an absolutely incomprehensible series of people entering and exiting (and in one case walking directly into) the door to what I can only presume is the kitchen
- Starting with the guy who had been sitting at a table chain-smoking over a pile of papers
- I counted at least three people exiting at least twice without actually entering in between
- Am finally brought food
- It is a breaded, butterflied chicken breast approximately the size of my face and a small pile of pasta approximately the size of my fist
- It is all delicious
- Chain-smoking papers man reappears, now wearing a chef’s apron labcoat thing
- Go up to pay, chain-smoking ficus lady is now having a very loud argument in a language I did not recognise but was not Italian Welsh English French russian Gaelic or Spanish
- She sees me, says, and I quote 'ah little girl lost, one moment’ and promptly hangs up
- I am 27 and only nominally female
- I am not remotely lost
- She charges me for the pint of coke but not the food
- I try to point out that she hasn’t charged me for the food
- 'do you want to pay for the food?’
- ’…. Not if I don’t have to?’
- 'good’
- I leave. The door is now full of half a dozen very tall very Italian men and one absolutely adorable cocker spaniel
- I ask if I can pet the dog (I have my priorities straight okay)
- I am allowed to pet the dog. The dog and I are now best friends
- The dog lead holder asks me in extremely accented but impeccably correct English if I had enjoyed the food
- 'yeah it was great!’
- Everyone laughs a bit
- I smile and pet the dog and realise I’m now late for the concert and hurry off
- I see a post on Tumblr about mob fronts and several connections are made in my brain all at once
Everyone I’ve mentioned this to has gone ‘was the food really good?’ as a like initial litmus test for front-likelihood so I’m glad to see we’re all on the same page here
Hate to be that rain on a parade.. (no I’m not) but yeah..
These retellings leave out the most vital parts. If you’re going to tell it… THEN TELL IT ALL.
well considering the linear nature of time and aging id love to hear the alternative
painfully true
ALTImagine saying "where sweets are baked, not bought" about the decade that invented blue raspberry
It would be a really huge jump to go from homemade sweets in 1998 to this in 1999:
Happiness
7-11 CLERK: lovely day outside, isn't it
ME: uhhh
ME INTERNALLY: shit. I didn't notice. How do I continue this conversation
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Service workers love it when you tell them the things mortal men were not meant to know, when you speak to them of principalities and powers upon the earth
ME: In the sun a wheel, in the wheel another wheel. Do you see?
7-11 CLERK: Yes, I see!
ME: For each turn of the outer wheel, one thousandth a turn of the inner wheel. And within the inner wheel a point of perfect darkness
7-11 CLERK: Right, growing, devouring. The death of all light
ME: Wanes the light - right - wanes the light and waxes the solar eye. Wanes the day of flesh and blood and waxes the night of crawling beasts. Chewing and swallowing. The name of the night to come is khoshek ha-gibbor
7-11 CLERK: Is that hot dog a quarter pound big bite or a spicy bite. They're priced different
ME: Which one is cheaper
